Mar 04

Anticipating Fear

What happens when you fear, fear itself? Do you stare it down until it recoils, and runs the other way? Or do you move toward it – make it happen, because, well … it’s gonna happen anyway, right? Might as well get it over with.

Anticipating Fear

I think whenever I ruin something good, “What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I do that?”

I must have some sort of mental challenges that are not readily apparent. Is there a fix? A pill? A therapy? What??? Tell me!!!

It has a name, ya know. Any chronic blundering is likely a counterphobic mechanism: a brave, unconscious, totally knob-brained attempt to end the torture of anticipating further torture.

I know … for those of us afflicted with this disorder of the brain, it’s still no comfort found in knowing that other people suffer, too and there’s no quick fix.

So, here is what happens to me.

People who do not understand me, mistake it for jealousy. It is not jealousy. I do not suffer from the fear of losing my love to another. If he wants to go, all I ask is that he be courteous enough to just go.

What I do fear is what I just said … people who hurt others for their own selfish gain (being discourteous). In my view, a person shouldn’t try to have it both ways. Don’t be a coward. Just deliberately end it and walk away. Period!

I’ve been down that road before. My love finds himself another – while, he is still with me.

It seems I’m not good enough to keep ’em but not bad enough for them to leave, either! *sigh*


But now, it isn’t that way. I just perceive it to be that way. When it happens, I throw a colossal fit and attempt to end the torture before I get hurt. I sabotage something good, because I am afraid he will carelessly hurt me for his own gain. That is not to say that he hasn’t done that in the past. But it is not what is happening currently.

Internal Work

I recognize my failings in this area, and have come to realize that I have a lot of internal work to do. Here are 3 goals that I have identified in January 2015 as being so very important that I achieve this year, not only for my love relationship, but for all of my important relationships. It is my intention to nurture them into blossoming and becoming rich in love.

Big Goal #13: I WILL simply Be a better partner – I WILL comfortably and easily commit to his wants and needs
Big Goal #14: I WILL effortlessly choose positive thoughts and move toward a more positive and fulfilling life
Big Goal #16: I WILL openly listen to understand and NOT pass judgement on or about that person

Rationalize the Outcome

What is the worst-case scenario? Is it really that bad?

If the relationship ends, is your life over – or is it just the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new and more exciting one?

So go ahead, think about the worst-case scenario. Own that fear. Rationalize the irrational thoughts that move you into self-sabotage and inappropriate actions.

So tell me …

1. What little gems of wisdom and life-lessons have you learned from your pain?

2. It may not be a relationship that afflicts you. What have you derailed in anticipation of it failing anyway?

This is one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have with yourself …

Feb 18

Bashar on Weight Loss

Stop wait-ing! Weight has no where to go, so it coverts into mass. Drop the rules of dieting and the unreasonable expectations. Do anything that excites you and the weight will come off.

Bashar on Weight Loss

Jan 28

Give Love

You get what you give … Give Love

Jan 21

2015 Reading Selections

Reading 10 pages each day helps me reach my goal of:

Big Goal #15: I WILL effortlessly read 1 book per month (alternate between self-help and books for enjoyment)

January – Crush It! Why Now is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion by Gary Vaynerchuk
February – Why Good People Do Bad Things by Debbie Ford
March –
April –
May –
June –
July –
August –
September –
October –
November –
December –

Jan 14

Manifesting a Healthy Body

Out of all the skills I have been working on, manifesting a healthy body and loving have been the easiest for me. I am proof that “you are what you think”. I spent the last few years believing that I couldn’t gain weight. I could eat whatever I wanted and still not gain. And guess what? That was true!

And then one day, Miss Alice decided to become a martyr of sorts. Suddenly I felt like I was gaining weight (even though at the time, I hadn’t gained a pound). I felt fat. I felt terrible about my self-image. I kept telling myself I needed to diet – to slow down on the eating because surely, I’m gaining weight. And guess what? To my horror, I manifested it into being! I had gained 9 pounds.


I have no clue why I jumped off that manifesting train.

But now, the real work begins …

Yesterday, I spent the majority of the day working out like a Mo Fo.

… This morning, my back hurts like a Mo Fo …

But here’s the thing: I’m not giving up. I’m not giving in to lame-ass excuses of laziness or to putting myself last because a toilet has pee on it that must be cleaned now. It’ll get cleaned … after I take care of me!

I know that I am my most valuable ass-et. Ima gonna get that moneymaker movin! Oh yeah ….

Here’s the lo-down on my reality: I can do anything I set my mind to do.

My thoughts become my reality.

And the same goes for you!

Ask yourself:

1. What do you absolutely love and adore about you?

2. Now, act on THAT! Whatcha gonna do that make that badass part of you bettahhhh????

(There’s a method to the madness – start improving on what you love and that will propel you to take the next step with less effort – go ahead, give it a try. I DARE YOU!!!)

In the comments below, tell me:

1. What kind of lame-ass bs excuses do you use to sabotage yourself?

2. What do you do after listening to all that crap?


Dec 31

Welcome to Pancakes for the Soul

Laying in bed, contemplating life … not always a good sign. Especially if you’re always contemplating and never getting around to the actual doing. I feel … stale. I feel like, nooooo – I definitely took a wrong turn several years back and I have some deep, ass-dragging regrets.

I left a job I love, a state I love, and a family I love, to be with a man I love. The journey has been very long, very difficult – I’ve learned many lessons. We could call it Karma – but that word has been given a bad rap. So it is Karma in a sense. It is how my life has unfolded. How one decision led to the next, so that I can be in a place to learn those lessons that will take me into, and hopefully through, the next chapter in my book of life.

I know in my heart this is where I need to be for the time being. I know the Universe will provide a way back to the state I love, and the family I left behind. It is not up to me to decide how. Just to know that it will be. It is my job to get out of the Universe’s way! ;)

Oh, so back to laying in bed, contemplating life. I’ve been doing that more and more recently. It’s causing serious sleep deprivation. It’s time to do something about it. There’s a restlessness inside of me. I feel unfulfilled. I’m in a job that I loathe, but it takes up too much of my time and financial resources (commuting time & money) to put my time and attention into anything that I might value.

But yet … I must.

Today is the official birth of the Pancakes for the Soul. I’ve been blogging on and off for years. At times, I’ve rocked the blogging world – and other times, it was just … meh. Due to the sleep deprivation issue, the restlessness and the profound regrets I have been inspired to Create an Extraordinary Life.

I needed a creative outlet that would quiet the self-doubts (you know that happens when your empire crumbles and you can’t figure out how to rebuild – you know that you do need to rebuild – the details of how to put one foot in front of the other seem obscure). <—- Yeah, that!

I feel that I need to get excited about something … anything. Excitement is a breeding ground for inspiration and brilliant ideas. I need something that I can feel passionate about and that would propel me forward to fulfilling a life lived with powerful purpose. I’m taking ownership of my life. I’m designing it the way that fulfills my needs, passions, and desires using the power of the Universe to drive it into fruition.

And Pancakes for the Soul is exactly that …

This blog will be the mode (or vehicle) in which I will fulfill my life’s purpose as being a vibrant example of a woman who is inspired to live her best life, knowing that the possibilities are endless. I will share my successes and achievements along the way – the goal is: through my own example, and being completely honest and transparent in the process, I will help others map out and achieve their own Extraordinary Lives.

Pancakes for the Soul is a tool that can be used by anyone motivated to make the changes in his or her life. Over the next few weeks and into the New Year 2015, I will be designing this blog (and my life) into a masterpiece – my life’s work.


Make Each Day YOUR Masterpiece (Tweet This)

I will cover each area of my life and share how I’m growing and learning. These include:

Emotional Well-Being
Health & Fitness
Career & Business
Time Management 

I’m passionate about teaching others how to achieve balance in their everyday lives and to finally be able to live the life they have only dreamed possible. I know I’m destined for a magical life.

I can create anything I want.
I have the power to make it happen.
I can have it all!

This is my journey toward my own Extraordinary Life.